2. No one has been to the grocery store in over 2 weeks. We have nothing to eat, if by nothing to eat you mean 3 cans of anchovies, juice boxes, and 9 condiments purchased in a fit of gourmet idealization, all used just once. Still in there, though, in case.
3. Moved living room furniture around to accent new windows. Seven year old strangely channeling Martha Stewart, tells me it looks "wrong", doesn't feel right in here, it's just....off, but she can't put any words on it. She's consulting design mags as we speak.....
4. See above-next complaint? There's no place to put the Christmas tree. The suggestion to put it in the archway between living and dining rooms got this result "WHHAAAAAAT?????? OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO STUPID!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???I HATE THAT!!!I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!" So, um...ok.
5. Asshole kids with asshole older siblings. Thanks to them, this is the conversation I had today: Ella: "Katie told me she doesn't believe in Santa. He's not real. It's just you and dad. Is Santa real?" Me: "Katie better hope so, or she won't get a damn thing on Christmas morning." Ella: "Why"? Me: "Cuz if you don't believe, you don't get anything. Santa's a toughie on that rule. You want to test it out? Cuz we can, you know." Ella: "No"..(thinking...) Katie better change her mind fast or it's gonna be a sad Christmas at their house."
6. Laurel at dinner (screaming): "I HAVE TO TAKE THESE PANTS OFF NOW!!!! THEY HAVE SPILL ON THEM! I SPILLED ON THEM! TAKE THEM OFF! I NEED TO CHANGE!"....says the 3 year old with half a jar of Mayonnaise in her hair.