Recently, the older girl had an "issue" that required a visit with a pediatric gynecologist. Med students-take note. Apparently, there are so few of these docs that this woman sees patients from as far away as NY and Maine, so you can skip trying to be a cardiac surgeon for the big bucks and try this out instead. She prescribed a cream that needed to be applied to my kid's nether region twice a day. As she was graphically describing how and where to put it, I could see the color draining from my husband's face, so before he lost it completely and either passed out or tried to run for it, I offered to be the sole applier, having a lot of familiarity with the area. After being together for 16 years, I would hope he would too, but whatever. On the way home, he tried to explain: When they're babies, he weakly offered, their little vaginas just blend in. You know, you see a chubby tummy, leads to chubby thigh rolls, and just sort of blends in to more...chubby rolls. But now, as a kid, our daughter had real naughty bits, and he could not get with an up close and personal experience. Fine, I get it. But, as I mentioned, he gets flashed routinely. Can't he just deal? Luckily, he agreed to give it a go, since not giving it a go meant I couldn't go out after 7:00 pm for the next 3 months, and NO WAY was I coming home from wine-I mean- book club for vajayjay duty.
Incidentally, my older daughter used to call it a "fungina". Just try and explain that to child protective services....